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7/10/08

GearCrave Interview: Cory Jones of HolyTaco.com

What is HolyTaco.com?
Well, the marketing answer to that question is, "HolyTaco.com is the preeminent site for guys. With daily riffs on the day's breaking news, hottest celebs, sports, entertainment, gear, and more, Holy Taco is a guy's bible –a guyble, if you will — to anything and everything and nothing at all." The non-marketing answer is, "HolyTaco.com is a website."

Why should people read HolyTaco.com?
When we're not creating our own high-larious content, me and my writer (Justin Halpern) put on our miner's hats and dig through the dark recesses of the Internet to find the stupid crap you want to send to your friends. For example, we have a video of monkeys and bears racing each other on bicycles. That little tidbit of info alone should be enough to make HolyTaco.com your homepage immediately.

When did HolyTaco launch?
We launched back in December. It was colder then than it is now. (Unless you’re reading this in December. Then the temperature was about the same.)

How did HolyTaco begin?
The story I tell my girlfriend is that I was walking along the street one day when a black limo pulled up alongside me. Three men in suits jumped out, blindfolded me, beat me mercilessly and took me to their underground hideout. Then, after more beatings, they told me that I would have to start a website or they were going to kill my family. The real story is that Break.com wanted to start a men’s blog. They interviewed hundreds of applicants. After all of them turned it down, Break offered the job to me and I accepted immediately.

What do you enjoy about working on HolyTaco?
The freedom. In past jobs, there's always been a lot of red tape to deal with, but here, my bosses just want us to create funny and interesting content. If I feel like posting a photoshopped image of a dingo eating Nicole Kidman's new baby or Nicole Kidman eating a dingo's baby as payback, then I can post that. (That reminds me, I have to find a couple dingo photos when we're done here.)

What advice do you have for would be bloggers?
Don't get discouraged. Since the Internet is so fast, it’s easy to expect your site to grow overnight. But it takes time. If you believe in what you're doing, just keep at it. If it's good, people will take notice and slowly start checking your site out on a regular basis. If you're not good, well, then you should probably kill yourself. Just kidding, don’t kill yourself. But make sure you realize that since you couldn’t make it as a blogger, you are a worthless failure of a human being.

What are your favourite websites and why?
Well, aside from pornotube, redtube, youporn, pornporn, filthyporn, backseatbangers, milfhunter, 8thstreetlatinas, secretaries-in-stockings, lolcats, deep-throat-and-gag, smutreactor, skanks.tv, and canigetablowjob.com, I really like the Onion. There's no other site on the Internet that makes me laugh so consistently. I should probably say I like Break.com, too.

What gadgets can you not live without?
My Creative Zen MP3 player is with me whenever I go to the gym or hop on the subway. It’s small enough to slide into my pocket…or into the orifice of my drug mule (sometimes he moonlights as an MP3 Player mule.) Also, I need to buy a new phone and I'm leaning towards the Blackberry Bold. I'm currently using Sprint, but I think the Bold is AT&T only. So, if anyone from Blackberry or AT&T would like to send me a Bold, I will write a post saying anything you want. (Seriously, anything.) Oh, and I use a Panasonic ER421 Wet/Dry Nose Hair Trimmer more than I'd like to admit.

What are your 5 favorite HolyTaco posts?

• 10 Best Fat People Internet Videos – I know I'm probably going to hell, but every one of these videos makes me laugh.
• Squirrel Eats A Ritz Cracker To Huey Lewis' "If This Is It" – I've heard parents say that they love their handicapped children the most. I think that explains how I feel about this post.
• 8 Truthful Celebrity Autobiography Covers –The Stedman Graham is one of our classics.
• 10 Items You Think Make You Look Cool, But Don't – We got our first death threats after posting this list, so it will always have a special place in my heart.
• Monkeys Racing Bears on Bicycles – It's the world's perfect video.

Thanks for taking the time to chat with us, Cory, and thanks for making us wipe down our screen twice while reading your responses. I spit beer out of my nose twice. TWICE. I suppose I should stop drinking while I work. At 9:00 a.m. On a Sunday. With a hooker. And Gary Coleman.

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